BRIEFLY YOURS

By Joel Son Panti

How to talk like Erap

"Ano ba ang ipinagpuputok ng butse mo?"

What arrogance! What impertinence! Specially so, coming from supposedly a lady, a head of provincial office.

Provincial Veterinarian Jane Rubio talks like President Erap. Magaspang ang bunganga. Kailangan ang papel de liha!

In a live interview with a local AM radio station here in Virac, she was allegedly asked by the broadcaster what action and measures her office is doing to arrest the rising incidence of death due to dog bites.

Being so concerned, the program host was so meticulous and incisive in shooting pertinent questions. It caught the ire of Dr. Rubio, the very person whose office she heads is responsible for the prevention and control of rabies.

The doctor of animals should be reminded that the people who give you your salary and allowances have the right to information.

They have the right to know what you are doing because they pay you to protect them from all kind of animal bites. But what you give them is verbal bites! How arrogant!

Ano kaya kung ipakagat ka sa asong merong rabies, ha, ha?

Dapat nga purihin mo yong announcer dahil nagmamalasakit. Labing-isa na ang  patay.

If you do not like to be touched by the local media, there are only two honorable things for you to do - do your duty faithfully because you are being paid for that or you resign.

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Some residents of Upper Sto.domingo came to us and complained against one Jaime Reyes as the cause of power fluctuations in their area.

"Pag ga-welding siya, an coryente gahababa ta dai siya nin sadiling transformer," they said. They claimed that their appliances are affected by the "colorum" welding shop.

May we request the Ficelco to look into this problem?

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From a mere five centavos, it has soared to P1.01! This is what Ficelco is collecting now for what they call forex.

The tremendous jump is due to the prevailing peso-dollar exchange rate - that's the prize you get for voting Erap to the presidency.

Incidentally, why is Erap so close to Bro. Mike Velarde? And Mike Velarde so close to Erap?

If we are to believe one of Mike's best friends here, the two prominent figures have two things in common - both are gamblers, and both like women.

"Pagpunta sa opisina sa aga, mamahaw sa saro. Pagpuli sa odto, mangaldaw sa iba. Pero kada banggi, ga-puli sa tunay na harong."

This is how one of his best friends narrated to us. Our source is a best friend of the late San Andres Vice Mayor "Agwat" Antonio, a compadre and friend of Mike.

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On the other hand, people do not understand why Sen. Kit Tatad is

Si Kit kulang na lang tawaging monsinyor. He has only one wife, truly faithful to her. His best friends are church people. He is a member of the Opus Dei.

Is he not contradicting his very being? Perhaps he realized this contradiction now, that's why he bolted from the LAMP coalition.

But the damage has been done, though not that heavy.

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He should submit himself to the Senate trial if indeed he has nothing to hide. Otherwise, people will suspect that everything is muro-muro, lutong macao.

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